The Retreat
by AriaJadePheonix
Summary: Sam and Dean have been struggling to get back to normal after Sam killed Lilith raising that devil from his cage. When Bobby calls for help on an important case they have to go undercover at a couples retreat. Killing monsters and couples therapy, What could go wrong? Sam/ Dean slash fiction
1. Chapter 1

Sam watched out of the corner of his eye as dean brushed his teeth. he had missed this, watching Dean go through his morning routine. When they were younger Sam's day would always start with watching dean do his morning routine. The consistency of it always made Sam feel safe, Dean was there, and everything was normal so there was no need to worry about anything.

He really needed some of that feeling now and while the routine hadn't changed much it felt different, there was tension in his brother's shoulders that coincided with the tense silence that seemed to permeate the air around them a lot these days.

It had been like this since Sam returned from his self-imposed exile last week. They were walking on eggshells around each other neither wanting to bring up the separation or the reasons behind it for fear of upsetting the other, but both were very aware of it. Dean had taken to avoiding him as much as possible, which when you were together 24/7 and lived out of a small 1-bedroom motel room, pretty much consisted of only talking to him to give out orders or instructions and barely even glancing in his direction.

Right on cue dean looked up, their eyes connecting briefly in the mirror before looking back down after a few awkward moments of eye contact. "Morning" Sam muttered quietly only receiving a quick nod of the head and a grunt from Dean. Dean left the bathroom, chucked his clothes on top of his bag grabbed his keys of the table and left the room without even glancing in Sams direction.

This time last year dean would have made some sort of snarky comment about him staring, probably ending with a girly nickname like Princess, and he would have waited for Sam to be ready to leave with him. Now though he just left. So much had changed because of his stupid decision to pick Ruby over Dean and there was nothing he could do about it, he just had to hope that one day Dean would forgive him and things would go back to normal.

He understood Dean's attitude, knew how much he had hurt him with his choices but he hated the distance between them. Being back together was meant to help him feel better and to help them heal but instead, it felt like each day he was breaking apart just a little bit more.

He had to do something.

Glancing down at his phone sam scrolled to the only person other than Dean that he felt like he could talk to.

"Talk Idjit." The gruff voice came over the phone soothing some of the tension that Sam had been feeling all morning.

"Bobby" He replied gladly that someone was actually talking to him. The silence had been really getting to him.

"What going on Sam? Everything okay?" Bobby asked in his usual no-nonsense way. Letting out a shaky breathe Sam contemplated what he was going to say before replying.

"I don't know what to do Bobby" he hadn't realized how close to tears he was until he tried to talk about it. His emotions were all over the place. He got a grunt and a soft sigh from bobby

"Dean?"

"Things have changed so much Bobby. He can't even stand to be around me anymore. I don't know why he let me come back when he can't even look at me most of the time. I miss him and the way we used to be. I want to make it better but I don't know how or even if he will let me try. I don't know how much more of this I can take." Now that he had started he couldn't stop talking until he got it all out, if he did there is no way he would be able to get it out.

Another soft sigh came over the phone and Bobby replied," Boy, just give him time, you leaving was hard on him, both when you went off with ruby and when you decided to leave hunting. He just needs time to process everything that has happened. My advice would be to just keep being you, don't try and be what you think he wants you to be. Just be yourself and let dean see that you are still the same geeky little brother as you always have been."

While not what Sam wanted to hear Bobby was right, he had abandoned his big brother for a demon in his efforts to try and prove to dean and himself that he was strong and could protect himself. In the end, Sam had never felt weaker and as unsafe as he had felt chasing after Lillith and while he knew that he tended to project confidence he had felt like a little boy again scared and just wanting dean there to protect him. Of course, he could never tell dean any of that for fear of being teased relentlessly.

"I'm sorry for bothering you with this again Bobby. I just can't help but feel like I am losing him and it hurts. I can't lose him again, I don't know if I would survive that." He finished weakly his voice hitching towards the end.

"Don't worry about it Sam, everything will turn out alright. We both know he can't live without you either. Now that's enough sappy advice for one phone call, what have you boys been up to lately?" They chatted for another couple of minutes about the latest closed case before Bobby had to hang up as another call came in.

He felt a lot better after talking to Bobby. With another sigh, Sam finally got out of bed to begin his own, not too different to deans, morning routine. Dean would probably be back soon and he didn't want to keep him waiting if he wanted to leave straight away.


	2. Chapter 2

Frowning down at the phone in his hand, Bobby hung up on Sam. He was worried about his boys, they were both hurting from the distance they had created between them, but neither was willing to start closing the gap. Dean because he was still trying to get over Sam's abandonment and had put all his walls up to try and minimize the damage if it happened again. Sam because he was afraid that if he pushed dean too far, he would pack up and leave Sam behind.

Both boys were so scared of losing each other that they had pulled away creating distance, not seeing how much they were hurting each other. "Idjits" he muttered softly. He needed to come up with a way to force them to talk to each other without them feeling forced into it. God knows that the second dean felt forced he would revolt, and nothing would get solved. Only Sam had even been able to convince Dean to do something he didn't want to do and with the way things were now that wasn't likely to happen. With a sigh, he put the boys out of his mind and brought the still ringing phone up to his ear.

"Bobby, its back." A voice began gruffly before Bobby had even managed to get in his usual greeting.

"where and how many?" he replied seriously, he had known this day was coming but had been hoping that it would be another year or two. He had been chasing this creature for almost 10 years now, catching up with it 3 times already, but each time he got close it would run off killing all its hostages and disappearing leaving no trace or evidence behind.

Even after all these years chasing it, he had no idea what it was or what it wanted. All he knew was that it always found its victims at couples' retreats, it would kidnap couples and keep them alive somewhere doing who knows what to them. He couldn't afford to let it get away again but the second he showed up in town the creature would know, and any couples already taken would be lost.

The voice over the phone started speaking again startling him out of his thoughts "only two couples have been taken so far. The first couple was taken a week and a bit ago and the second was taken last night. It fits the pattern" Bobby sighed asking the hunter to send an email with all the details in it before hanging up and sinking down into his armchair. He needed someone that he could trust to take care of it, but most hunters didn't work well with others and would be seen from a mile out by the creature. It needed to be two hunters that could fit in as a couple at the retreat and get to the bottom of it.

Deciding to check out the retreat to try and narrow the demographic he pulled over his computer and went to the link he had been sent. A look of shock passed over his face and he stared silently at his computer his mind running around in circles. This was perfect, he knew exactly what hunters to put on the case. If this all worked out hopefully it would solve both of his problems.

The creatures latest target was a new retreat that exclusively for gay couples. Sam and Dean were the only hunters he knew that he trusted to be able to pull this off, the only problem would be convincing them to take the case. Hopefully, this would force them to communicate thereby fixing their relationship and would also end with the monster that had been haunting him for years dead.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as Dean arrived back, they packed up their stuff and started driving to their next stop, he didn't really have anywhere in mind for them to go but he wanted to drive, it helped keep his mind off everything else that was happening in their lives right now. The car trip was full of tense silence that had been constant around them lately, even his usual loud music didn't help.

Watching Sam out of the corner of his eye he was concerned. Sam looked miserable, he hadn't looked this miserable since Jess died. He knew that probably most of that was his fault, the way he had been acting lately was really taking its toll on Sam and while he hated to seem Sam upset, he didn't know what to do to fix this. He was hesitant to get close to Sam again before he was sure that Sam would stay.

Each time Sam abandoned him the hurt got worse, last time had almost been physically painful watching Sam walk away from him and the life, and he didn't know if he could handle that type of pain again.

Watching Sam this miserable though was having a similar effect, he had never done well seeing Sam in pain or unhappy and now was no different. He had to do something to fix this and start opening up to Sam again but coming to that conclusion and knowing exactly how to fix it was two very different things.

Finally, they arrived at a nice enough looking town that Dean pulled over, it was only a little after mid-day, but he was sick of the tension in the car. The town was big enough that the would be able to get supplies and stock up the truck which was desperately needed.

Pulling into the motel dean went inside to pay for their room leaving Sam in the car. He booked them in for 2 nights so that they would have enough time to stock up and hopefully find a new case.

Sam had grabbed their stuff out of the trunk and was leaning on the side of baby and had a sullen look on his face. Opening his mouth dean tried to find the words that would make Sam feel better, he would do anything to wipe that look off his face, but Sam sensing his presence looked up expectantly. The only thing he managed to force out was the room number which he promptly turned towards trying to leave the awkwardness behind.

Opening the door for him Sam walked inside and deposited their duffels on the beds. Dean set about warding the room and laying down salt lines still trying to think of something to say to Sam. Sam was sitting on the furthest bed looking more and more dejected with each minute that passed in silence. They were both shocked out of their thoughts when deans phone rung loudly disturbing the silence.

"Bobby?" dean asked as a way of a greeting.

"Dean, is Sam there with you? I need to talk to you boys" he replied.

"yeah he's here" Dean replied as he walked over to sit next to Sam on the bed angling the phone so that they could both listen in at the same time. They sat with their arms and legs lightly touching and for the first time in weeks he felt himself relaxing. They had been this close since Sam had left, and he missed it, being close to Sam had always been the way that he reassured himself that Sam was safe, he hadn't realized how much he depended on touch for that. Sam also relaxed into the position letting go of some of the tension in his shoulders and pressing closer.

"I've been chasing the creature for years now. It settles into an area kidnapping people and keeping them alive for weeks feeding off them but first sign of a hunter in town and it kills everyone and leaves no trace behind. I can't go after it, the second I show up in town it will leave. I need you undercover, find the creature and kill it."

"Yeah sure Bobby, you know we would do anything for you" Sam replied but bobby continued like he hadn't heard Sam's reply.

"Given everything that's been going on with you guys lately I wouldn't have bothered you with this but given its current location, there is no one else with even the slightest chance of getting by unnoticed. So at least hear me out before you say no." sick of the cryptic messages that Bobby was feeding them Dean replied curtly

"where is it, Bobby?" There was a long pause followed by a sigh.

"it is holed up in couples retreat a day's drive or so from you boys." Bobby finally responded.

"couples retreat?" Sam questioned blankly "but surely there is someone else better suited to take the case. Neither of us has anyone to take to a couples retreat let alone a good cover for being there." Dean was confused, why would bobby want them to go undercover at a couple retreat. Maybe he wanted them to go in as activity mentors or guides or something.

"Bobby" he prompted when they nothing but silence from the phone.

"Alright, alright. It's couple retreat that is exclusively for gay couples. You two are the only hunters I know that could believably pass for a gay couple." Dean doesn't think he had ever been this shocked in his life. Bobby wanted them to do what?

Before he even had time to contemplate the question fully his answer left his mouth. "absolutely not" he shouted dropping his hold on the phone and leaving the phone to pace around the room. There were so many thoughts running around his mind that he couldn't make sense of any of it.


	4. Chapter 4

He couldn't believe that Bobby wanted them to go undercover at a couple's retreat. There was no way they could ever fit in a place like that. He noticed Sam put the phone on speaker and turn to face him watching him pace. If the silence was any indication, they were waiting on him to fully process the request before continuing the conversation, but he had no idea where to even begin.

Okay so maybe there had been a few times that they had been mistaken for a couple, but with how they were lately there is no way anyone would believe it. Add to that the fact that couples' retreats were full of chick flick moments. If they agreed to this there were bound to be times when they had to discuss feelings and emotions, would he really be able to commit to that.

Regardless of his reservations, it was bobby asking. Sam had been right when he said they would do anything for him. Bobby had always been there when they needed him, and they couldn't let him down now that he needed them. This case had obviously been haunting him for a while.

"dammit" He said softly letting out a short breath before making his way back over to the bed and sitting next to Sam again.

"there's got to be someone else bobby. We are brothers, we can't pretend to be a gay couple, no one would believe it." He said semi pleadingly hoping that there would be some way to get out of this. He could barely open up to Sam at the moment how was he meant to cope with couples' therapy. If bobby could find someone else, then he wouldn't have to deal with all the emotions he had been pushing away lately.

Bobby gave a soft huff of laughter at that comment and even Sam turned to look at him incredulously. "I meant with how we have been lately, I know that in the past people have assumed we were together but with all the tension between us lately I doubt that would still be the case." He explained sensibly watching as the frown appeared back on Sam's face and he turned away from dean looking down at his lap.

Dean kept his eyes on Sam as he continued to look anywhere but at Dean, obviously the tension between them was affecting Sam a lot more than he had first thought. Sam looked like he was almost in tears. As much as he hated the idea of the retreat, he hated the idea of Sam upset even more, and if the retreat could get them talking again maybe it would be worth it.

It would be hard for him to open up but for Sam there wasn't anything he wouldn't do to put a smile on his face. He was do deep in thought that he almost missed Bobby's response

"There is no one else Dean. I need you boys to do this for me. it has already taken 2 couples and who knows how many more it will take if it isn't stopped.

With a soft sigh dean waited for Sam to look up trying to gauge his feelings on the case, when he finally looked up there was a look of determination on his face and dean knew that no matter what he thought of it they would be doing this case.

"fine, send us the details. We will start heading that way tomorrow." Dean said as he took the phone off speaker and put it up to his ear.

"I have booked you in already, so you don't have to worry about that, you can arrive at the retreat any time after 11 on Thursday. I would suggest that you boys spend some time updating your wardrobe a little. Not anything that you would be uncomfortable in but something new." Dean agreed to that easily, their clothes had been looking very worn lately and they would b=need some new clothes soon anyway.

"we are only a day's drive away so well will stay here tomorrow and grab our supplies and head out on Wednesday morning." Dean said of Sam's shoulder at the email that Bobby had sent.

"look dean," bobby started softly gaining deans attention. The last time bobby had spoken to him in that voice was just after john had died. "the retreat has a bunch of compulsory therapy sessions that you will need to attend. You should also prepare yourself for that, its important that you take this seriously" a soft growl left his throat at that, Bobby didn't trust him to do his job.

"Bobby, I'm not going to stuff this up, I can handle a few therapy sessions for the case" he defended Sam was watching the one-sided conversation with a look of scepticism on his face which set his anger off again, however under that was trust as well. Sam was sceptical but trusted him anyway. That knowledge calmed him down enough to listen to bobby's response.

"I know you can handle it for the case, but I want you to take this seriously for Sam too?" okay now he was really confused, what was bobby talking about

"what do you mean?" he replied dumbfounded

"Sam's hurting, you both are. This is you chance to get everything out in the open and start working through it all." Dean went to interrupt to tell bobby that he was already planning to, but bobby just kept talking not letting him get a word in, "Listen boy, Sam is not doing well, he is swimming in guilt and anxiousness, but he is afraid to say anything in fear of losing you. He is struggling and what he needs most right now is his big brother. This retreat could really help Sam heal but only if you are honest and supportive. He will follow your lead on this, if you take it seriously so will he but if you go in joking about it or making stuff up Sam will never open up and tell you what is going on in his head, no matter how much he wants to talk about it. "

Dean felt guilty that he hadn't been there for Sam over the last couple of weeks when he really needed it, if this retreat would really help them then Dean was all in, emotions and all. Nodding to himself he told bobby he would think about it before passing the phone to Sam and walking into the bathroom to wash his face.

Sam grabbed the phone that dean handed him slightly worried about dean. Whatever Bobby had said to him really seemed to shake him.

"bobby" he said in confusion.

"look Sam, you have to make sure you are being honest in your sessions, on a case like this dean will let himself be open to you for the case. This may be the only chance you have to push him to talk where he will without too much of a fight. Don't let this opportunity go to waste." With that said Bobby hung up the phone not even waiting for a response from Sam. Sam stared down at the phone confused, he had no idea what just happened, but he wouldn't let the opportunity go to waste.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean left the bathroom to see Sam sitting in silence on the bed, where he had left him, staring down at the phone. Bobby was right, if he did nothing, Sam would follow his lead and nothing would get solved. If they were going to do this case and make it believable, then he would have to start working on opening up to Sam and letting him in. Making up his mind, Dean went to grab his keys off the bench, it was well past lunchtime and they could both do with some food and a drink.

Glancing over at Sam he saw him look up, a resigned sad expression appearing on his face before he looked back down at his phone again. He really had been neglecting his brother lately.

"You coming, Samantha?" he asked waiting at the door with a smile on his face. Sam looked up from the phone, shock visible in his eyes when he saw Dean waiting for him. Not willing to let the opportunity pass, Sam jumped up and almost ran across the room a smile on his face. It had been way too long since Dean had seen that look on his brothers face.

Sam had no idea where they were going, or what Dean had planned when they arrived, but if Dean wanted him to come along, there is no way he would ever say no. He had been following Dean around since he was a baby and it felt wrong being left behind, as he had these last few weeks. Even the girly nickname made him smile; if Dean was using those again something had changed. After such a rough couple of weeks, there was finally light at the end of the tunnel.

Dean drove to a bar he had seen on the way into town, he ordered 2 beers and 2 hamburgers with the lot, ignoring Sam's bitch face at the order. He grabbed the beers and took them to a booth in the back. They sat in silence for a few minutes just enjoying each other's company before Dean finally spoke.

"I think Bobby is right, we look too much like hunters we need some new clothes. I think that while sticking to clothes that we feel comfortable in may make it more obvious that we are hunters, clothes that are uncomfortable will make us stick out more." Sam nodded along, Dean was right, while wearing skinny jeans may make them fit in more, he knew from experience that he would be stiff and uncomfortable the entire time, which would not only distract him but would also make them look insincere.

Seeing Sam nod in agreement Dean continued, "we already get mistaken for a couple quite frequently and with neither of us flirting with anyone else, that part shouldn't really be an issue. A few adjustments to our behavior should do it. That just leaves us with the main issue of a back story. It sounds like this one may be a long one, so we need it to be believable, but also memorable enough that we can keep the story straight for a long period of time." Sam nodded glad that they were at least still on the same page, even after all the time apart they still think the same.

"I think we need to stick as close to the truth as possible; less chance for errors that way. So we have known each other since we were kids, lost touch when I left for college, we met again four years ago when I graduated, hit it off and have been together ever since. We have been going through a rough patch lately and decided to get help, as neither of us wants to lose what we have" Sam finished confidently. He had been thinking about this since Bobby first mentioned the retreat and with his advice to be honest with each other, the closer to the truth they stuck the better the results would be. With that in mind, even though he hated the idea of it, he had one last thing to add.

"I cheated on you when you went away for work. Since then we've been trying to solve our issues with limited success, which is why we need help. " He waited nervously for Deans response. He had a knowing look on his face, and Sam wouldn't be surprised if Dean knew exactly why he was using that story. "That would work, it's weird how well our life fits into a 90s chick flick," Dean said with a chuckle before looking over at Sam with a look of complete seriousness.

"You sure?" he asked softly. Sam nodded replying with " I'm sure."

Dean knew what he was doing and was going to play along. Sam couldn't help the small smile that appeared on his face at that. With a soft sigh Dean looked away, trying to dispel the serious atmosphere he said, "why can't these monsters choose to find their prey in cool places like a singles cruise in the Carribean. Man, that would be awesome." Sam chuckled.

If only they were that lucky.


	6. Chapter 6

On their way back to the hotel, they stopped at a clothing store and spent a solid hour browsing the racks for a few new outfits. They wanted things that would work with clothing they already owned, while still giving off a different vibe. Sam wanted to focus on a more bookish hipster look and ended up buying some v neck T-shirts, 2 new sweaters and some more jeans, that were slightly fitted but still left room to move. Dean focused more on a lovable bad boy vibe, going for a leather jacket, some plain white tees, and some semi-fitted jeans. With the shopping finally completed they made it back to the hotel. Their new styles fit well with the case, but also matched well with their usual personalities.

With that out of the way, there was just one thing that was niggling at the back of Sam's mind. Glancing up from his research Sam went to ask Dean about it. Shaking his head softly he changed his mind and looked back down his research. Dean was busy stripping and cleaning the guns and he didn't want to bother him. A few minutes later he was still trying to research but had managed to read the same line over and over again. He glanced up again before thinking better of it and looking away. Dean having felt the looks both times let out a sigh.

"What is it, Sammy?" He asked startling Sam out of his thoughts.

"It's nothing" he responded automatically keeping his eyes down on his computer, fidgeting with the keys hoping to look busy.

Dean wasn't buying it.

"Sam," he said sternly.

"I was just wondering how we were going to convince them that we're together," he said in a rushed breath. When Dean looked over at him with an incredulous look on his face Sam felt the intense need to blush and looked away to hide it from Dean.

"I just mean, you said before that we would need to have a few adjustments to our behavior, what does that even mean? Plus, have you looked at their website, this place is like a scene from a chick flick, complete with mandatory group sessions and couple activities. Dude, you hate chick flicks." He finished quickly not wanting to make Dean angry at him.

Dean stared at Sam for a few moments contemplating his answer. Sam still hadn't turned back to look at him.

"Sammy," he said, waiting until Sam turned around to look at him before continuing, "this is for a case. There are people out there whose lives depend on us blending in. Yes, I hate chick flicks, but I am willing to make an exception, to help save these people. We will do whatever it takes to convince them that we belong, whether it be therapy sessions or couples' activities. As I said before it shouldn't take much to convince people, we just have to act normally. That will convince most people, especially since we're meant to be having problems. Maybe the occasional hand holding, and some general touching and we should be all set. Sam looked unconvinced and a little bit confused

"You think that the way we normally act is the same as a couple would," he replied, concerned that Dean wasn't taking this seriously.

"Sammy, we spend nearly all our time together, can read what each other is thinking, always know where each other is, and we always know when something is wrong without the other having to tell us. That's more than most couples could ever hope for. There's a reason people mistake us for a couple so often." Dean replied matter of factly.

Sam nodded softly, a smile on his face, they were lucky to have each other, and he was going to do whatever it takes to get them back to that place again and keep them there. He never wanted to lose that connection or Dean again.

"And the touching?" He asked unsure what that meant to Dean.

"Don't worry Sam, just small things like a hand on the shoulder or around your waist, maybe occasionally resting on your leg. No big deal. I might even play with your hair a little, you used to enjoy that when we were kids." Sam sighed and nodded his agreement finally letting the conversation drop. It was going to be a strange case but he was looking forward to being close to Dean again.

Dean stared at Sam for a few moments trying to work out what was going on in his head. Sam fidgeted at Deans look unsure of what it was he was looking for, so choosing to ignore the stare, Sam went back to his research, bringing up another page on creatures hoping to find some more information. He felt a sense of safety and security under Deans watchful eyes. He allowed himself to focus all his attention on his research and as such almost jumped out of his skin when Dean's hand landed softly on the nape of his neck. Recognizing the feel of dean's hand, he relaxed, leaning back into it and tilting his head to look up at Dean.

"We can't have you jumping like that every time I touch you. We have almost 3 days until we need to be at the retreat. I think we need to start the ruse now." Dean said calmly still looking down into Sam's eyes.

"What? Now?" Sam asked confused.

"Yes, now. If we start acting like a couple now it will feel and more importantly come across more naturally. So, while this may sound weird, I want us to start sharing a bed tonight. "Dean said in his ' _I'm the boss so don't argue with me'_ voice, otherwise known as his ' _big brother'_ voice. For some inexplicable reason, Sam felt the need to blush at the idea of sleeping together, so turned back to the computer to hide the look from Dean.

"Why?" He was confused by the entire situation, Dean was against this whole thing when Bobby had first suggested it but now, he wanted to start 3 days before they needed too. He had no idea what was going on in Deans head right now, but he trusted his brother so would follow his lead.

"We will be sharing a bed at the retreat and most likely the first few nights sharing again will be awkward, so if we start sharing now, we get the first few nights out of the way. Also, it'll probably help with the touching as well." After a few moments of contemplation Sam finally nodded his head to show his agreement causing Deans hand to move.

"fine, just let me finish this first." He said softly wanting to at least get something done given that the rest of the night had been so unproductive. Dean slowly caressed the back of his neck, sending shivers down his spine, before drawing back his hand

"OK, I'm almost finished with the guns too." He said softly, leaving Sam alone to his research. When he was finished for the night Sam grabbed his stuff and headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Finishing quickly, he exited the bathroom allowing Dean to take his turn. Sam stood staring at the beds unsure what to do now. They hadn't shared a bed since they were teenagers, still sharing motel rooms with their dad.

"Your bed Sam," Dean called through the door startling Sam from his thoughts. Nodding, even though Dean couldn't see him, he headed over to the bed furthest from the door and laid down on the left-hand side leaving Dean with the side closest to the entrance. Dean always slept closest to the front door and Sam was sure that sharing a bed wouldn't change that.

Sam watched Dean as he walked around the room checking the salt lines and doors, as well as turning off the lights before heading towards the bed. They ended up lying down stiffly next to each other on either side of the bed with a large gap between them. Dean had been right, Sam had never felt this awkward in his life. He wanted to close the gap and snuggle up to Dean, as they used to when they were young, but he couldn't bring himself to move, afraid that Dean would push him away. He used to love curling up in Deans' arms at the end of the day, knowing that no matter what happened he was safe and loved. Sam couldn't deny that he could really use some of that feeling right now.

As if Dean could sense his thoughts he reached out, and grabbed Sam's arm, pulling him closer into his side. Happy with this turn of events sam snuggled into Deans chest, where he could hear the soft beat of his heart. Dean's arms wrapped around him pulling him closer and for the first time in months, Sam felt truly safe. As he fell asleep Sam couldn't help but think that everything felt a little better when he was wrapped in Dean's arms.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam hadn't felt this great waking up in a long time. They must have moved around during the night as he could now feel Dean's warmth behind him. His arms around Sams' waist enveloping him. With Dean surrounding him like this, he felt at home and completely and utterly safe.

Dean must have fallen asleep with something in his pocket though because, Sam was being poked in the lower back. He tried to ignore it and fall back to sleep but it was distracting him just enough, that he couldn't drift off again. He quickly readjusted his position slighty hoping to get in a more comfortable spot, without leaving the comfort of Dean's arms.

No luck, he was still being poked.

In fact, it seemed to be worse now. Still half asleep he tried wriggling around again looking for a slightly better position, when he was pulled back tight against Deans' chest by the tightening of the arm around his waist. He froze at the movement, unsure if Dean was awake or moving around in his sleep. A soft grunt against his neck answered that question followed by Deans soft 'just awoken' voice.

"Sam, you don't want to be doing that." Sam blushed as his brain finally woke up enough to work out what exactly was poking him in the back. "it's still early Sam, go back to sleep. "He finished quietly relaxing his tight hold on Sam's waist.

Sam shivered as Deans breath caressed his ear flushing an even deeper red as his body started to react to the gruff voice and the warm body encasing him. He shifted uncomfortably before nodding and closing his eyes. He didn't want to get up yet as that would mean having to leave the cocoon of warmth, he currently found himself in.

Maybe if he came up with some solid reasoning, he would be able to convince Dean that they should do this more often. It wasn't very likely though. In fact, he was surprised that Dean was allowing it now, even if it was for a case. Maybe he could convince Dean that sleeping like this made it safer for Sam. That always was the easiest way to convince Dean of anything

He shifted unconsciously, mind focused on his half-formed plan. His focus changed rapidly when he felt dean getting harder against his back. He felt a strange rush flow through him at the thought that he had caused it and his own erection twitched. Wanting to feel the thrilling rush through him again Sam shifted once more. Dean let out a deep, barely muffled, moan before suddenly the warmth was gone as he flopped down on his back, arm resting lightly over his eyes.

"Dammit, Sammy." He said softly causing Sam to turn around. He hadn't wanted to make Dean mad or upset. Looking across at him though he looked relaxed with one arm lightly resting over his eyes to block out the light while the other rested on his stomach.

"Sorry, you know I get restless sometimes." He replied softly hoping that Dean would believe the story. The first time really had been restlessness and Dean didn't need to know about the reason behind the second time.

Dean uncovered his eyes to glance over at Sam.

"Yeah, I know. It's not our fault, but I am planning on getting at least an hour more sleep so, either come over here and relax or get out." He said calmly stretching his arm out, making room for Sam on his chest. Sam happily snuggled into Deans side careful to keep his half hard member away from Dean. He laid his hand directly on top of where he knew deans tattoo was and gently moved his thumb back and forth over the area. Thinking about their matching tattoos always made Sam feel loved, even though he knew that it was purely functional to Dean. To him it was a sign showing their connection and their bond, symbolizing what they went through together on a regular basis. Every time he saw the tattoo it brought back so many memories of good and bad times with Dean. Sam almost moaned out loud when Dean started to lightly drag his hand through Sams' hair. He had always had a thing for people playing with his hair.

The laid like this for a little more than an hour, drifting in and out of sleep before the sharp shrill of dean's phone alarm cut through the comfortable atmosphere. Groaning dean untangled himself from sam, getting up to switch the phone off and heading straight into the bathroom to begin his morning routine. The strange thrill that Sam had felt earlier came back full force when he realized that Dean was still half hard. A twitch in his pants reminded him that he too was still hard. He rolled over pushing his head into the pillow hiding his seemingly ever-present blush in Deans' pillow. He shouldn't be hard over the thought of getting his brother hard over him. It probably had nothing to do with him. Anyway, it is a natural response to waking Up next to someone. He really had to focus on something else and forget this whole morning had happened. He didn't try to make dean hard. That is a crazy thought. Chalking it all Up too his early morning tiredness he let himself lock the thoughts away and drift off into a light snooze while he waited for Dean to finish.

"Come on Sammy, "Was the next thing he heard after what felt like mere minutes. "we have a big day today and you need to get Up now or you won't have time for your shower." Groaning Sam rolled over giving dean his patented bitch face. Dean chuckled before pointedly glancing at the bathroom door. Grumbling Sam final forced himself to get and get ready to face the day. His only consolation is that the extra time in bed without Dean had allowed his erection time to soften.


	8. Chapter 8

A few hours late they were driving through the middle of nowhere heading towards the retreat. It would take most of the day to get to the small town next to the retreat. Deciding that now would be the perfect time to start up a conversation, that Dean wouldn't want to have, as he couldn't run away. Sam opened his mouth to talk only for Dean to start talking first.

"Look Sam, I know you want to use this case a way to work through our problems." He started bringing a frown to Sams's face. No doubt Dean was going to tell him to let it go; that the case is more important than their problems.

'and really I want that too but if we are going to do this I need you to promise me something." He continued ignoring the look of shock that appeared on sams face. Never in a million years did he think that Dean would agree with his plan. The most he had hoped for was that Dean would not realize it was happening until it was too late to change it. Seeing Sam still, speechless Dean continued with his request.

"if we are going to do this we a doing it all the way. Complete honesty from both of us, and if we can't say something in front of others we have to bring it back up later. Also, complete commitment to the program, If they tell us to have a tea party every morning and talk about our feelings, we do it. We need to go all-in or there is no point in doing it at all. Can you promise me that Sam?" he asked glancing over at Sam to see him nodding.

"I promise. All in." With a short sharp nod he let the conversation drop and turned the music up trying to drown out the complete awkwardness he felt. This retreat would probably be the most difficult thing he would ever have to do. But if he was going to force himself to do it for Sam then he would do everything he could to get it right because it was never going to happen again.

They spend the rest of the 9-hour drive fleshing out the details of their cover story. In between the planning some of their old normalcy was creeping back in. Dean was even back to singing along loudly to his favorite songs instead of them sitting in awkward silence. They hadn't even made it to the retreat yet and already Sam could feel a shift in their relationship. They were starting to heal. Obviously, they still had a long way to go but at least they had made a start.

It was nearing midnight when they finally arrived in the town. It had been a long day of driving but Dean was feeling good. Sam had fallen asleep, his head resting lightly on the glass, almost an hour ago. He would occasionally start fidgeting in his sleep only to settle down when Dean light touched his shoulder. He had always loved watching Sam while he was sleeping, he looked so peaceful and carefree.

Luckily for them there was a small motel on the edge of town that was still open at this hour. Dean paid for a room with a king-sized bed, something that was remarkably cheaper then there usual 2 queens. He quickly grabbed their stuff and dropped it inside before going back for Sam.

It took Dean a few solid minutes to coax Sam out of his sleep enough for him to open his eyes and glared at Dean as he was maneuvered out of the car. One of Deans's wrists wrapped securely around his waist as he escorted (dragged) Sam inside. By the time Dean had gotten Sam inside he was barely awake again. Laying him down gently on the bed Dean went to go ward the room only to be thwarted by sams tight grip on his shirt.

"let go Sam." He whispered as he tried to pull sams hand away. Eventually he gave up and pulled his shirt off leaving it gripped in sams clenched fist. He made quick work of the warding. He was exhausted but it needed to be done, with an unknown monster this close to Sam he had to make sure they were safe. Turning back to Sam he couldn't help but smile at how adorable Sam was snuggling up to his shirt like it was a teddy bear. He took a quick photo before collapsing onto the bed next to Sam. He fell asleep with a smile on his face, pressed up against Sams's back keeping him safe in his arms.


	9. Chapter 9

Dean's eyes shot open as he awoke from a nightmare with a gasp. His heart was racing in his chest as he tried to place his current whereabouts. nightmares weren't new to him, but they had been making more frequent appearances as of late. Honestly, he should have seen it coming. 9 times out of 10 his nightmares featured Sam dying in a variety of horrible and heart-wrenching ways.

It always hit him hard leaving him shaken and distraught for days. Sam dying was his greatest, and if you asked Dean, his only fear. He was sure that Sam had never worked out the reason behind his sudden overprotective behavior on days after nightmares; but he couldn't help but want to keep Sam protected after watching him die in his dreams.

Tonight's nightmare had shown him Sam dying in an assortment of creative ways, each with one thing in common. He always died from an unknown and unseen monster and Dean was too late to save him. He felt an overwhelming sense of panic and guilt as the images replayed in his mind. Even though it was only a nightmare he should have gotten to Sam sooner.

Burying his head into Sam's shoulder in front of him he allowed himself a moment to breathe in Sam's scent, willing himself to calm down. He pressed himself firmly to Sam's back tightening his grip until the were pressed from head to toe against each other. Slowly, the fear and guilt started to fade as he matched Sam's breathing. Eventually he forced himself to get up and go wash off his face. It had always helped, feeling like he was washing away the nightmares.

He spent a few minutes staring at himself in the mirror trying to come up with ways that he could keep Sam safe during this case. Finally, he pulled himself away from his contemplations as he heard a noise from the bedroom. Sam was moving restlessly on the bed letting out the occasional whimper.

Dean quickly returned to the bed carefully getting in to not wake Sam up. With the way Sam had been sleeping lately he didn't want to wake him up unless it was absolutely necessary. He needed as much sleep as he could get. Keeping a slight distance between them he slowly reached out and lightly rested his hand between Sam's shoulder blades hoping to give him some comfort without waking him.

He was surprised when, at his touch, Sam rolled over and snuggled into his side, eyes still closed and breath heavy. That made Dean smile. When Sam was younger, he used to do that all the time. He would be fast asleep, but the second Dean slipped in behind him Sam would snuggle up to him getting as close as possible. He always seemed to sleep better when pressed up against deans' side. He never thought he would get to experience that again.

With Sam's hand resting lightly on his chest he finally felt himself fully relax. Sleeping next to Sam had a lot more benefits then he had initially thought. He had never been able to calm himself down from a nightmare this quickly. Usually, he would be up all night keeping a watchful eye on Sam as he slept trying to get the images out of his mind, jumping at every sound and movement. But today he felt calm. Sam was here, He was safe and happy; Everything was fine. Sam's touch had taken away most of his anxiety and fear leaving behind only his strong love for his brother rand a lingering sense of contentment.

Wrapping his arms back around Sam's wait he allowed himself to fall asleep with Sam safe in his arms. His last thought as he fell back asleep was that he had to find a way to convince Sam to let them continue sleeping like this after the case. Now that he had this back, he didn't want to let it go again.


	10. Chapter 10

Today was the big day. They were due to be at the resort at 11, which meant that they could sleep in and still have time for hot showers and a full breakfast. Sam was starting to feel the anxiety over the case set in. This case was a new one for them. Not only did they have no idea what kind of monster they were hunting, but they also had no idea what it wanted or where it was and to make matters worse the entire case relied on them being able to successfully pretend to be a couple. Even thinking about it now was increasing his stress.

Thankfully, Dean seemed to know what was going on in his head and was able to keep him mostly clam and centered throughout the morning; keeping him mind off the case and his concerns with a few softly spoken words and gentle touches.

Dean was there with him and he would never let anything bad happen to Sam. Getting in the car at 10:30 they finally made their way to the retreat both nervous and excited for the case to begin.

They were welcomed at the door of the retreat by a small overly excitable man/ "welcome, welcome you two. He said as he gave their hands a shake with a large smile on his face. "we are so glad to have you here. We weren't sure if you would make it on time. Your father said that you are sometimes quite late. It was lovely of him to book you boys in for 3 weeks. You have the deluxe package and everything. You boys are in for a treat. He rambled as he moved toward the back door of the main building. Sam caught Dean's eye as they followed the man out the door and almost chuckled as Dean rolled his eyes. They followed him down the path listening as he explained some of the history of the park that they were walking through. Apparently, the cabins that the quests stayed in used to be used by the rich and famous as they got away from the perils of fame.

"it's one of our best rooms this one, I have no doubt you will be happy here. If you have any problems or questions, feel free to give me a call in the main lobby. I will give you boys 30 minutes to unpack a get settled. Then we will have just enough time for a quick tour of the facilities before lunch. Oh, and before I forget here is your welcome package. There is all the basic paperwork that you may need during your stay. Make sure you keep an eye on your schedule as I'm sure you won't want to miss out on any of the exciting activities that we offer here." Handing Dean the key to the room the man finally stopped talking and left them to their own devices. Walking away with the occasional hop to his step. Opening the door, they got their first look at their home for the next 3 weeks

Making their way inside Dean threw their duffle bags onto the couch and surveyed the room. It was a spacious living area with a small kitchen off to one side, a dining table for two next to a window overlooking the lake. There was a tv and coffee table near the couch: the couch itself was massive, it looked like even Sam would be able to comfortably sleep on it. Maybe that was needed in a place like this. It wouldn't surprise Dean if after therapy sessions a lot of couples needed to sleep separately.

The bedroom was through a connecting door near the living room and contained the largest bed he had ever seen in his life. The thing that struck Dean though was how clean the entire place was. They had never stayed in a place the nice looking and it was kind of overwhelming. Looking over at Sam he could see the same emotion in his eyes. Feeling the eyes on him Sam look back at Dean and gave him a soft smile. "this place is actually really nice." He said softly glancing around at the room again.

"Yeah, nicer than our usual places that's for sure," Dean replied. Despite how overwhelming it was he was looking forward to this case, now they just had to find and kill the monster.

"well now that we know some more about this place, I am going to do some research to see if I can find out anything about this monster, Hopefully, the guide's information will help. We will probably have to get some more information out of him later. More about the surrounding areas would probably be helpful. Even some info on the staff would be good. We will definitely need to talk to the other couples and case out all these extra activities as well." Sam rattled off as he walked around the couch and grabbed his laptop out of his bag.

Looking down at the welcome package Dean grabbed out the itinerary, having a quick look before passing it over to Sam.

"It looks like the first group session is after lunch. We can start getting to know the other couples there." Dean said

"After lunch? Are you ready for that?" Sam replied in a cautious tone watching Dean for any sign of reluctance or hesitance. He still wasn't sure that Dean would be able to cope with it all, but he trusted his brother more than anyone else, including himself. Finding nothing but reassurance and confidence Sam nodded to himself.

"Okay, we still have about 20 minutes until he comes back. I'm going to do some research, try and find a way to narrow our search perimeters." He said as he set himself up at the dining table. It really did have a great view.

Deciding that standing around doing nothing wasn't going to be very helpful Dean set out to subtly ward their room. They couldn't do anything that would give them away, like the salt but he would do whatever he could to protect Sam. Hopefully, it would be enough. After warding the room, he set about unpacking their stuff. Which was a daunting process, they had never had to worry about unpacking before but at a place like this they couldn't live out of their duffle like they usually did. That would be suspicious.

20 minutes later he called softly to Sam dragging him away from his research. "come on Sammy, its time to go. Grab your jacket and let's move."

Saving his pages and shutting down his computer Sam quickly made his way over to where Dean was waiting at the door. Shutting the door firmly behind them Dean turned to see their guide walking up the pathway towards them large smile still plastered on his face.

Time to get this show on the road.


	11. Chapter 11

The guide, whose name turned out to be Josh took them around the main areas of the retreat showing them the cabins, common buildings, and the different activity 'zones' as he called them. There was a large variety of activities available to couples such as fishing, swimming, hiking, archery, crafts, and painting. Dean wasn't keen to attend any of them but knowing Sam he would be forced to do a few at least. For the case of course. They were also shown around the central building which contained the counseling facilities and, more importantly to Dean the lunch hall and movie/games room. It was there that the tour ended which Dean was thankful for. Josh hadn't stopped talking the entire tour and it had been grating on his nerve for the past 20 minutes, the dude didn't even seem to stop talking to breathe, just a continuous stream of nonsense left him mouth. Only a soft nudge from Sam had stopped Josh from getting a punch to the face at a few points on the tour.

The lunch hall was set up with four round tables each with four seats. These were each in a corner of the room and a buffet table ran down the center. Sitting down at an empty table they ate quietly, observing the other couples. There were around 6 other couples at the retreat and at least 4 staff members other than Josh.

Looking around the room it was easy to see why some of the couples were here. There was a palpable tension between most of the couples with only one couple that appeared to be in love. Maybe blending in would be a lot easy then they expected.

After lunch, the couples started to make their way into the next room, which was set up for group therapy sessions. Dean was apprehensive about these sessions. Talking about his emotions with Sam and a therapist was one thing but talking about them in front of everyone was terrifying. Seeing Sam watching him he quickly pulled himself together and walked confidently into the room. He could do this

A bunch of chairs was set up in the center of the room forming a large circle. They stood awkwardly at waiting for the other couples to join the circle before moving to sit in the remaining chairs. Quickly taking the last remaining seats Dean turned to face the counselor while still angled slightly towards Sam. His nightmare from the night before was still causing him to be slightly cautious. It would also allow him to keep an eye on how Sam was going.

"good afternoon everyone, it is great to see you all again. As you can see, we have a new couple with us today. Why don't we start this session off by going around the circle and introducing ourselves? Then you boys can tell us a little bit about why you are here. I will start. My name is Simon. I am a licensed couple's therapist and have been at the retreat for almost 2 years now. Whatever problems you are facing I have seen it before so don't feel embarrassed. Every couple goes through a time when they need help."

He indicated for the couple on his right to go next. This was the couple that they had noticed at lunch. "my name is Cameron, and this is my partner Peter. We are here to strengthen our relationship and to have a little bit of fun." He said with a cheeky smile on his face.

"I'm Dave, this is Tom." The next couple said as the introductions moved on. It similarly continued around the circle with most couples answering tersely with just their names and not much else.

Then it was their turn.

"hi, my name is Sam, and this is Dean." He said softly following the other couples' example. Dean gave a brief wave and hoped that they could move on, he already felt super awkward.

"and why is it that you are here boys, what is your story?" Josh asked almost causing Dean to groan out loud.

"We are here because of a few issues we have been having lately. We are hoping that by coming here we can get a better understanding of our problems and will eventually be able to overcome them." Sam responded in what Dean like to think as his lawyer-speak. Giving very little away while making people think you told them a lot.

"well boys, we can certainly help with that." He said softly before turning to look at Dean. "Dean, why don't you tell us your story, how did you boys meet?"

Sam, sensing dean's reluctance spoke up, "shouldn't we be spending more time on other people we don't want to take up all of your time. "

"We want to hear it." Cameron encouraged a few of the other couples nodding along in agreement.

"Dean?" Simon prompted.

"We have known each other since we were kids, we grew up together, were practically inseparable all through school. We started dating when Sam turned 16 and separated a few years later when he went to college. Found each other a few years later when his apartment burned down killing his partner. We decided to go on a road trip and tick a few things off our bucket lists. I almost died in a car crash, I spent 3 months in a coma. I was a little crazy when I came back and pushed Sam away straight into the arms of a girl called ruby. Their affair lasted 2 months before I found out. We had an argument about the affair and Sam left. He returned a few weeks later after apologizing and I was glad to have him back, but things were very tense, and his return didn't go as well as I hoped. So, we decided to come to the retreat to try and work it out." Dean finished quickly wanting this over as soon as possible.

"Ah… come one. You have to give us more than that." Cameron blurted out "please?" he asked hopefully. Simon backed him up.

"Come on son, you need to get it all out in the open if you want to have any chance to heal. From the top now, with all the little details."


	12. Chapter 12

Finally conceding to the groups' requests Dean started their story.

"Well, we have known each other since we were kids. We were practically inseparable, doing pretty much everything together. Over time our friendship developed into deeper feelings and eventually love. We started dating when Sam turned 16. Though really not much had changed just that now instead of playing in the park we were making out in the back seat of my car."

"Dean" Sam exclaimed hitting him in the shoulder trying to control the blush that was wanting to appear on his face.

"what? He told me to tell the story." Dean responded petulantly

"you don't need to include that much detail." A smirk appeared on his face and Sam instantly regretted saying that. He felt like Dean had seen that as a challenge.

"you mean I shouldn't tell them about the first time we had se…" The rest of his sentence was mumbled as Sam's hand had come up to cut him off.

"Anyway," Sam decided to continue with the telling of the story "everything was going great, but we never really talked about where it was going. Dean was following in his father's footsteps, training to be a mechanic. He was happy where he was doing what he was already doing. I just wanted to get away, from the town, from the people but mostly from my dad. I knew that if I asked Dean would have packed up and left everything behind to follow me. I didn't tell anyone that I was applying for college, not even Dean. When I was accepted my dad and I got in a huge fight which ended with him telling me that if I was going, I should stay gone. So, I left."

While it had been years ago at this point Dean could still remember the look on Sam's face as dad had said that. The look of complete determination but also sadness. He still remembered how much it had hurt to watch Sam turn around and walk out the door like that, not even looking back.

"didn't even say goodbye." He added still feeling hurt, the memory fresh on his mind. He decided to continue the story.

"I was devastated, didn't know what to do with myself without Sam. I felt like a part of me had been ripped out. I stayed around for a few months finishing my registration to become a mechanic before I went searching. I had to make sure he was okay. By that point, he had been at Stanford long enough to have started building a new life. I saw him after class one day and he was happy, surrounded by new friends doing what he wanted. I realized at that point that I didn't fit into his world anymore. I settled down a few towns over and would occasionally check in on him to make sure everything was still okay."

Sam was looking at Dean in shock. He couldn't work out if Dean was telling the truth or was just making up stuff for the backstory as he went.

"you did?" he asked softly, "I thought you didn't want anything to do with me after I left. You never even answered any of my phone calls."

"Of course, I came after you, Sam." He said softly covering Sam's knee with his hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Even if you didn't need me anymore, I had to make sure you were safe. I checked on you every time I passed through. I didn't think you would want to have me messing up your new life so I kept out of your way I figured I was one of the people that you were running away from"

Sam grabbed Deans' hand from his knee giving it a firm squeeze" I was never running from you, Dean. Just dad and the life he wanted me to have. "he said trying to pour all his emotions into the sentence hoping that Dean would finally believe him.

"Yeah, yeah." Dean said shrugging it off giving Sam hand a return squeeze before letting go.

"Anyway, a few years later Sam's apartment burned down with his partner at the time still inside. It killed his partner a very nearly killed him too. I was the person he called, he was distraught, and while I had no idea what he was saying I got in my car and headed over straight away. "Dean paused here for a moment and took a quick glance t Sam. This would be hard on him having to remember jess's death.

"I was a mess," Sam spoke as Dean paused. "I had only ever felt that much pain when I left Dean behind and it was paralyzing. It took me months to get over it with Dean and that was mainly because I convinced myself that he was happy out there doing something he loved. Even with that, it left a hole that was never truly filled. I had no idea how to deal with it this time, so I called Dean. He had always been my rock, the one person that always knew what to say to make me feel better and he always made me feel safe. Now more than ever I really wanted to feel safe again."

Sam took a calming breath before continuing

"We spent a week or so trying to find answers, to find some closure but being so close kept reminding me of what I had lost. I couldn't stop thinking about how short life was and how any moment it could all be taken away from us leaving nothing to show for it. One blink and it could all be over." Sam had never really talked about that day or his feelings over it. Not even with Dean, he hadn't wanted to force Dean into talking about it so he had buried it and it was hard bringing it back up again but it felt good to get it off his chest.

He felt Dean's hand on his knee again and looked over at him. Dean tilted his head to the side slightly questioning eyes staring at him. Nodding back at him to show that he was okay he just needed a few moments Dean continued with the story.

"so, I suggested he write down a list of all the things he wanted to do, and we could take some time off and go on a road trip to start working on tick some off. Of course, Sammy here had to create a gigantic list that will probably take decades to complete." Dean looked of at Sam with a cocky grin on his face as some of the other couples laughed at that. Sam glared back trying to look unimpressed but really, he was glad that some of the tension in the room had dissipated.

"we've been traveling since then trying to tick as much as we can off the list. We were about halfway through when our problems separated us. Dean gave his leg one final squeeze before letting go and turning back towards the room. Hopefully, they would be happy with that and they wouldn't have to explain anymore.


End file.
